Life in our Shoes

Yesterday I received a hand delivered (by my husband) invitation to the most amazing date I have had in a very long time. You are probably expecting something ridiculously extravagant, but in reality it was far better. My presence was requested in our very own kitchen at 9:30 and I was to dress fancy.

Around 8:00, I started getting the kids into bed, while The Squatch busied himself in the kitchen. Once they were all tucked in, I stayed out of the way in the office. As it started to get closer to 9:30, I picked out a dress that I had never worn. It was one The Squatch picked out and bought for me last year.

He called me downstairs at 9:30. I was welcomed by the delicious smell of baked spaghetti, the sight of a candlelit kitchen, and the soft sound of music from a mix he made for me. Including our wedding song “The Luckiest”, by Ben Folds.

I sat down and noticed a paper at each of our seats. It was a menu of the night’s meal. Italian bread dipped in olive oil, Italian salad, baked spaghetti, hand dipped dark chocolate strawberries, and some x-rated to wash it all down. Every menu item came complete with a full description.

I never had baked spaghetti before, but I must say it was delicious! The strawberries were by far my favorite, but I ate entirely too many of them.

We finished eating and cleaning up, when The Squatch grabbed me and pulled me close to dance. It was the perfect ending to a perfect date.

Who says you need to leave the house to have an amazing night together?

I haven’t updated here in a while! I hadn’t realized it until just now.

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind over here. We have been back and forth on whether or not we would get the house. One day we were making settlement the next day, then we weren’t due to x,y,z, piece of information we still needed to provide to the bank. It was insanity. It was kind of up in the air for a bit where we would even be living. We had to be out of our rental by 4:00 PM on Friday, June 11. We found out on Tuesday at midnight, which I guess then makes it Wednesday, that we got final approval for the house. The earliest we could settle was Thursday at 4:00 PM. That gave us roughly no time to move all our stuff out of the rental and clean the carpets.

I called in all my reinforcements and all their SUV’s (plus a moving van that we rented) to be at the rental when we finished settlement at 6:00. Then, we made the mass chaos move into the new place. The Squatch and I alternated trips back and forth between homes until 2AM, when we just collapsed. Only to get up and do it all again the next morning.

The next few days we got to endure the fun of living amongst an obstacle course of boxes and furniture until we could get at least the bedrooms painted. They are done now and look amazing! I love the colors, the kids picked them. They went very bold. Thing 1 picked pink and black, and Thing 2 picked blue and red. Side note…red is NOT an easy color to paint. Our room is “sombrero”. It’s kind of an orangey color. Also pretty bold. But, I love it.

The furniture is all moved in all the rooms, unfortunately we had to put the carpets on hold since we didn’t know when/if we were getting the house. This means? We have to move all the furniture back out in a week or so when we get the carpets. That’s what husbands and Dads are for right? I’ll just stay out back in the pool with the kids. Yes, that’s it. My job is keeping the kids out of the way. It’s a win-win for everyone!

Did you ever notice that when you take your kids to the doctor, whatever the reason you took them there for magically disappears? It’s like they pump some sort of cure all medication through their venting system.

Funny thing about Thing 2’s appointment last week was when the doctor said “I’m concerned about this because he is showing absolutely no signs of any kind of illness.” Really, she checked him everywhere. Even looked for some kind of fungus growing on his scalp. Nothing. So, I took him for blood work and almost immediately he started coughing. Shortly after that, he passed out cold on the couch in the middle of the day. This boy does not nap. Not ever. So, I grabbed the thermometer and sure enough he had a fever. I actually breathed a sigh of relief and knew at that moment that his blood work would come back fine. It did, of course, so I panicked over nothing.

I kept his follow up appointment almost a week later since he was sick. Do you know he did not cough or sniffle even once the entire time we were in the office. He was like the picture of perfect health. He saw a different doctor than we saw for the original consult. He never remeasured his lumps, nor did he look in his throat or nose, even though I told him he was stuffy/coughing/feverish. Then again, I’m not surprised. This is the doctor that insisted Thing 2 did not have torticollis. Yeah, that guy. Which reminds me, I need a new pediatrician soon.

Basically he told me to keep an eye on him for a month and bring him back for a follow up. What am I looking for? In the words of the wise doctor, “I don’t know. Anything, really”. It’s scary that he is the head of the practice.

In all of my 33 years of life, I have had every illness and disease known to man. Even a few that aren’t. Really. Google tells me so. Also, I have anxiety. The doctor told me that one. Google doctoring + anxiety = very bad news. Even worse when you are googling your kid’s symptoms. (PS- spellcheck keeps telling me googling isn’t a word. But, it is. I said so.)

There was this one time when Thing 2 was a teeny tiny baby that googling was beneficial. The doctor said he was fine. I said he had torticollis. Turns out I was right. He needed physical therapy and a corrective helmet to undo the damage done from tilting his head to one side all the time.

Right now, I hate google. With all of my being. Thing 2 has always had what the doctors called “prominent lymph nodes”. One on his neck and one behind his ear. You could see them if you really looked. In the past week (that I have noticed), you can now spot them, very clearly, from across a room. And there’s three of them.

He had an appointment tonight. I was hoping the doctor would say “it’s nothing, everything is fine”, even though I wouldn’t have settled for that answer. Because that answer isn’t an answer. That isn’t the answer I got anyhow. I believe the words the doctor used were “this is concerning”. If he was sick or had a cold, or a sore throat, or anything really, she wouldn’t be concerned. But, he doesn’t. Just really large lymph nodes. She gave me a prescription for bloodwork and said I “don’t need to rush out to get it done, or lose any sleep over it”. I told her I already did lose sleep and I will be there when they open the doors in the AM.

I hate this. I’m trying to hold it all together, especially because there are a ton of other things stressing me out right now as well. I don’t know that I am holding it together well, and I can feel my anxiety attacks coming back a little more each day.

I had originally planned on blogging about our journey through the ins and outs of infertility in our attempt to add to our family, but for some reason, I just never did. I think I need to, though. I’m hoping it will help me through the stress of being turned into a human pincushion. I remember last time I went through it, I turned to the internet to find other bloggers going through what I was. Reading those pulled me through when I often wanted to quit. So maybe, just maybe my blog will help someone else struggling with similar issues.

That said, this month was our second month “officially” trying with the help of an RE. His recommendation for our first cycle was a clomid cycle. I knew it wouldn’t work simply because of done many, many cycles of clomid in the past with no results. He wanted to “monitor” me while on it, just so he could see why it wasn’t working. Biggest. Waste. Of. Money. It didn’t work.

On to the second cycle. The doctor wanted us to do a clomid/injection cycle. He likes to be conservative. We opted for the straight injection cycle. It made more sense than trying the combined cycle, only to have it not work, then pay again to do the injection cycle.

So, I spent the past month going to the doctor every three days, then every two days, then every day for a week. I was poked and prodded a million different ways, several times a day. We had to buy so many different injections at $140 a pop that it made my head spin.

We eventually got to the point where my follicles were growing (and there was a ton of them). My estrogen was too high and I had too many follicles. So the new plan was to take me off the gonal-f to get my estrogen to taper off. The doctor also put me on hcg to push the bigger follicles to grow and the smaller ones to stop.

That first day I got my blood work back, my estrogen had dropped by a lot. My concern was, what if it drops too much? I was told “it’s possible”. They increased the hcg by another tiny bit, but still didn’t supplement the estrogen any. I could tell by looking at the screen during my u/s today that my follicles weren’t growing as much as they needed to be. So I wasn’t surprised when they called with my results to say my estrogen dropped too far and this cycle would be a bust. Call Monday for a new consult.

It didn’t take long for us to decide that we don’t want to go through this every month. All this trial and error to get the medicine dosages right, all that wasted money. The roller coaster of emotions, the injections of mass amounts of hormones. I can’t do it. So we are going to wait out the summer and and try IVF later in the year. Late fall or early winter.

I’m sad. I’m disappointed. It sucks. And it hurts. But we’ll get through it. I’ll get back on track with my weight loss to hopefully reach my goal before getting pregnant. We’ll enjoy our summer vacations. And we’ll start fresh in a few months.

If you are reading this, it’s pretty safe to assume you have a blog. I’m hoping that means you can tell me how to do something.

I like to try to comment back when someone leaves a comment, but I know most people won’t remember where they left a comment to even come back and see a reply. So, how do I set up my blog so that I can reply to a comment and it will get sent to that person? That way I don’t have to jump back to their blog and leave a comment that is totally unrelated to their post.

Anyone? Bueller?

Let me preface this complaint post by saying I know extra curricular activities cost money. Often a lot of money. Some more than others. Particularly dance lessons. I am, for the most part, OK with that.

Here’s the part I am not OK with. I am not OK with the owner of the dance studio making money off of something she shouldn’t be making money off of. Let me explain. The kids were scheduled to dance at Dutch Wonderland this past weekend. I thought it would be a great opportunity for Thing 1 to get up on a stage and perform in front of people, as she loves to do. And, hey, bonus family getaway weekend!

Papers were sent home stating that tickets were $36 a piece and $21 for dancers tickets. In my stupidity, I didn’t look it up online. I just assumed this information was correct. I paid the money and all but forgot about it. Then I spoke to one of the other parents. She informed me that her daughter wouldn’t be performing because she can get cheap Dutch Wonderland tickets through her work, but the owner “wouldn’t let her”. She said flat out, “if you don’t buy the tickets through me, I won’t let your daughter perform”. Go ahead, pick your jaw up off the floor…I’ll wait. I can not believe she had the audacity to say that.

Thing 1 is in two dance classes, Irish and Acro hip hop. Irish is her favorite. So, before we left, I made sure she had everything she could possibly need for both outfits. Since, ya know, I had to buy two outfits (then pay to have them altered to fit her…grrr). I promise this is important. You’ll see why.

As we were standing outside the gates forever, since we were told to be there promptly at 9:00 and the park doesn’t even open until 10:00, I couldn’t help but look at the admission prices sign. A regular ticket is…wait for it….$31.95. Where on Earth did she come up with $36. It gets better. I then had to check the group rates, since we had to “But your tickets early! Then we can get the group rate!” Those tickets? $24.95. Say what? And, AND, for every 10 tickets purchased, you get a free one. Oh, hell no. I was just ripped off ten ways to Sunday.

So, we were there, and there was really nothing I could do about it except enjoy the day my family. When it came time for the performance, the teacher came out of the dressing tent and said “Thing 1 is only going to perform Men In Black (that’s acro hip hop), because you won’t have time to change her between performances”. There was two entire songs between her two performances, and I have done it before at the charity show they did, so I told her I would be able to do it and Thing 1 would be performing. Simply put, I was told no. And I? Was pissed. Not only was I overcharged, but I lugged both these damn costumes out there. To top it off, Thing 1 was disappointed that she had to watch her friends perform the Irish dance without her.

I am so not OK with her pocketing that money. Not only were we overcharged for tickets, but Dutch Wonderland is close to a 2 hour drive from here. So we had to pay gas money. And since it is so far and we had to be there so early, we had to pay for a hotel, too.

Am I wrong about this? Should I mention something about the tickets being way overpriced. Or should I just chalk it up to my stupidity for not looking into it first?

As a parent that loves to read, I am constantly on the lookout for books that my kids will enjoy, and that they can relate to. Whether it be moving, losing a tooth, starting a new school. *insert any life event here*.

I have had fantastic luck finding things for Thing 2 through the Scholastic Book Club that his school offers. In fact, I challenge myself each month to spend less than $50 per order. That buys a lot of Scholastic books. There isn’t much for Thing 1 in them, simply because she is older and most of the books are beneath her level. I have scored a few, but not many. I really wish her teacher would get on the ball and offer Scholastic in her class. But, that might just be asking way too much. Add one more thing to her plate and she just may forget all the kids names. Heck, she already spells Thing 1 wrong.

OK, so I got off track. I’m good at that.

I would say “the other day as I was walking through Target”, but that would be a complete lie since it was more like the other month (I’m a slacker, so I’m just posting now). So, the other month when I was walking through Target, my eyes fell on the cover a book called “Amy Hodgepodge, All Mixed Up”. The little girl on the front had brown skin and curly hair, so I grabbed it to read the back. Turns out, Amy is part Japanese, part Korean, part African-American, and part Caucasian. This? Was something Thing 1 could totally relate to (minus the Japanese and Korean, of course). One of Amy’s friends is African American and Caucasian, and my memory is failing me right now as to what her other friends are. There was no way I couldn’t buy this book. And it’s part of a series of chapter books. I love series and Thing 1 is just getting into Chapter books. Perfect.

We finished the first book which tackled some hard issues, such as bullying, disappointing friends, and being made fun of for being different. Just the back cover alone sparked a huge discussion with Thing 1. As I had hoped, she loved the book, so we bought #2 in the series. It’s titled “Amy Hodgepodge, Happy Birthday to Me”. We are only three chapters in, but so far, it is just as good as the first one. Score!

We have piles and piles of boxes currently in our garage, filled with stuff we determined we could live without until the move. One side of the garage is stuff to be moved, the other side is stuff to be trashed. Now that I have set up that little mental picture for you, let’s all laugh at me. I did.

I went into the garage to put a box on top of the to be moved pile. Then I heard something. It sounded like a wild animal hissing. My heart stopped, and my eyes started darting all around to find the evil critter making this horrendous noise at me. I saw nothing, so I ran back in the house. Then I decided I had to go back out, because maybe, just maybe one of my cats got out there and was stuck and scared. I started kicking at boxes and making a lot of noise so said creature would show itself it’s rabid self (I live dangerously).

That’s when I heard it again. Coming from inside a box. One that is taped shut? How in the world did something get in there? Ah yes…wait for it….I PUT IT THERE! It was the toy box. With a remote control car. One that is apparently not turned off because every time it gets bumped, the wheels spin and make a noise that sounds like, well, like wheels spinning. Except when you aren’t expecting it, it sounds like a rabid creature. Cross my heart.

The worst part about the whole ordeal, after I finally figured out what it was, I just left it be. I didn’t bother opening the box, finding the toy and shutting it off. That was entirely too much effort. So it’s only fair that when I went back in the garage today and heard the noise again, I freaked out. I think I’m paranoid. Or a chicken.

After much consideration, we decided that if the house went to short sale, we were going to walk away. It may be called a “short sale”, but there is nothing short about it. Never mind the fact that we would have had to pay for some repairs before settlement. Not what I wanted to do, especially since the deal could always fall through.

We scoured all the available listings in all the neighborhoods we were willing to move to and came up with a list. I called my Mom (our realtor) to tell her what we wanted to see. She wasn’t home, so as we were sitting waiting for her to call back, our mortgage broker called. Apparently, my Mom had worked her butt off by providing good comps and very well written letters, to get our house reappraised. Seriously, that never happens. They never adjust the appraisal. Ever. But, my Mom? She is just that good!! This means, no short sale (whew) and we get to settle in the end of May as originally planned.

I couldn’t be happier! Now I’m off to enjoy this beautiful weather.