Thursday, February 14, 2013

Debugging your Marriage

Have you ever seen the show “Big Bang Theory”? Not everything in this show is moral but the show has a lot of funny points throughout it. This is one of the shows that my husband and I love to watch; we’ll wait until it comes out on DVD, buy it and spend the next week watching it every night. In this last season 2 of the main characters get back together and instead of jumping back into their relationship, they move slowly through a debugging process. They each write down “bugs” they see in their relationship, report them, and then the other person tries to fix them. Not every point they reported was worth reporting, but it did make me think about it.

Keven and I went to a marriage conference a few years ago and they mentioned something similar. In the conference they suggested to write 3 positive things about your marriage and spouse and 3 negative things (or things you wanted to be worked on) about your marriage and spouse. At the conference we had time to share these with each other, but they suggested in the future going on a date geared towards growing your marriage and to discuss them there.

Before we had kids it was easy to focus on our marriage. After kids, it gets a little harder; and with added kids or older kids’ schedules it only gets harder. But I think we take a lesson from this show that maybe we should go through our own debugging process. Maybe it’s a personal debugging; what about your current life are you content with and what would you like to see change. Maybe it is with your spouse; what do you love about your marriage currently and what do you wish would change?  

When you’re facing yourself or your marriage remember to have just as many positive things as you do negative and when sharing remember to give the other person time to share too. I usually like to use the sandwich method, one positive, one thing I’d like to see change or improve etc., one positive.

So on this day of love, just a reminder that we all need a little debugging sometimes, both personally and in all of our relationships. We just need to make it a priority to take the time to go through the debugging process.

I'm participating in my first blog link up today! Yay for big steps of faith :) I'm linking up over at Message in a Mason Jar as apart of her Take Heart Series. You can check it out at:


  1. This is like a modern cultural example of "Search me and try me and know my thoughts. See if there be any wicked way in me" and the discipline of confession both to God and our fellow man. And you are so right that the focus on nurturing our marriage changes when kids come into the picture. Good to be reminded to be more intentional about that. Thanks for sharing your angle in the link-up. :)

  2. That's a great scripture to go with this, thanks for sharing that. And thanks for stopping by :)