Saturday, September 12, 2015

Relationship Reflection: Relationships in our Immediate Family

Relationships are a key component in our lives. They are what make us stronger, although sometimes they are what weaken us too. They are also what puts us back together, even when they are sometimes what breaks us a part. Relationships are interwoven into our daily lives, even when we try to avoid them. Even anti-social people have to interact with others from time to time.

To me, relationships are one of the most important parts of my life. My life is full of amazing people who have impacted and inspired me and shaped me to be who I am. Relationships are an ever changing aspect though, some people stay for a season and others stay for a lifetime, but regardless of the timeline, their impact is felt.

At this present moment the relationships that I value the most are those of my immediate family. Each of those relationships looks a little different and takes a lot of work, but each has had a huge impact on my life.
My family: Husband Keven, and children: Abbey, Micah, and Ally
My husband Keven and I have been married for 9 years. He was my best friend before we started dating, which laid a very strong foundation for our relationship. We've chosen to see the best in each other. When we believe the best in the other person's intentions we are choosing to put them above ourselves and that sacrificial love goes further then anything else we can do.

My oldest daughter Abbey is showing me that as she grows up she will not only be my daughter, but also a friend. Abbey has challenged me to get rid of my yelling habit, although I'm not perfect at it, I've grown a lot in that area because of her. I've also learned the importance of teaching our kids how to say they're sorry, by modeling it for them.

My son Micah is teaching me how to loosen up a little. He reminds me that spontaneity still lives inside me and I'm not as far from my fun youthful days as I sometimes think. Micah teaches me the importance of dropping my "important things" to play, even for just a moment.

My youngest daughter Ally is reminding me how fast time goes. I can't hold on to time, I can't capture it into a jar, but I can embrace it. The days are going quicker with her then they did when Abbey was little. And when I look back it seems like so long ago when Abbey was as small as her.

The biggest challenge in having relationships with your family, is remembering that we have a relationship with our kids. It's not just a "I'm the mom and you're the kid" atmosphere, but our kids change us and we change them. We are making a larger impact on them based on how we view our relationship with them. We need to treat them with respect and teach them what it means to have a relationship with someone else. By modeling positive interactions with them we are teaching way more than what we could ever say.

We need to recognize that each person in our relationship sphere is different. They have a different love language, a different mode of giving and receiving love then maybe we do. They have different needs to be met and expectations of what your role is in their life. But when we realize that and embrace those factors, our relationships will be fuller, healthier, and happier, especially when those relationships fall in our immediate family.


5 comments:

  1. What an awesome post! I needed to hear this reminder as too often it's easy to take the "I'm the mom and you're the kid" attitude. And though we have more of a relationship with Caleb as he gets older I need to remember to navigate with the little ones to see what kind of relationship is there. Sometimes it gets lost in all the training and discipline. Thank you for such a great write. And YAY for camping!!!!

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  2. Hi Danielle!

    I appreciate so much your reflections on your own relationships with your children! It's wonderful that you take the time to, as you brought up later, open your relationship further than the standard role of "parent" and "child". I bet it's scary and challenging, but also gratifying to grow relationships with kids into relationships with friends.

    Thanks for sharing!

    EmmaLee

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  3. Daniele,
    Absolutely loved your post! I loved they way you mentioned that how our children impact us to change. You are not the only one that has to work on yelling. My girls tell me all the time, "mom you don't have to yell." I appreciate that kids are so honest because it helps you to learn, listen, and grown. Sounds like you have a great family unit. I appreciate you sharing a portion of your life.

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  4. I enjoyed reading your entire post. However your second line in your post was profound to me. You discussed that relationships make you stronger. Today I watched Oprah's Super Soul Sunday which a program discussed the need for relationships with others around us and how they help us to become stronger. Relationships with others in my opinion are a necessity and reading your post I see how you intentionally contribute to the relationships of the people in your life.

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  5. Danielle,
    great blog post. I loved reading about your relationship with your son Micah. I think that its wonderful that your son has prompted you to loosen up and take some time to interact and play without being serious. You are right about still being youthful, we tend to forget that as soon as our responsibilities get us occupied and we start fulfilling life's roles. Thank You, I look forward to reading more about your family.

    Rahmo

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