Life in our Shoes

Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

Two words come to mind when I think of Thing 1. Well more than two, really. But the two that really stand out are high maintenance. This child is destined to be a Diva.

First of all, her calendar is busier than mine. I’m really just her chauffeur doubling as her Mom. It’s all really just a way of protecting her super secret identity for when she is famous. Let me give you a glimpse into our weekly schedule.  Obviously, there is school every day, though I don’t doubt she will someday want a private tutor just so she can add some more extra curricular activities into her already busy week.  Monday we have karate, Tuesday we have Girl Scouts, Wednesday we have Acro HipHop, Thursday we have karate again (now that she is entered into a tournament we have a private lesson on Thursday on top of her class), Friday we have Irish dance. Those are just her regularly scheduled classes. On the weekends we toss in the occasional tournament, dance show, charity show, parade, or Girl Scout event. To me, that is utter chaos. To her, it isn’t enough. She wants to take figure skating as well. If only there were more days in the week and more money in my bank, I would let her.

Second, she has two very distinct looks each day. She either wants to look like a princess or a rockstar. Both looks require her hair to be down! and curly! Now, she has the most beautiful curls you could ever imagine. But, her hair is long. Down to her butt long (when it’s wet). And there’s a lot of it. So, in order to achieve that perfect down and curly look each day, we need to set aside 40 minutes to do her hair. 40 minutes!!  What am I going to do next year when she needs to be in school before 12:15? She is not an early riser. Of course she isn’t. Divas don’t get up before 10AM.  If they do, they say silly things like “my eyes just aren’t ready” or “come back in 15 minutes”.

Third, in true Diva form, she must always be right. At all costs.  If she is ever wrong, she will tell you that she knew that, but just wanted to do it her own way.  That’s how Diva’s roll.

And last but not least, she is a master manipulator. Especially in regards to Thing 2. For example, if she is playing her computer (yes, she has her own pink laptop, so I may be the one feeding into her Divaness a bit) she will ask Thing 2 if he wants to play the game she is playing. Naturally he says yes. But then, of all silly things, he expects her to let him play. But, no. She follows up with “Good. Go ask Mommy for her computer”  Thing 2 then comes to me and mission accomplished. She no longer has him hanging around her.

Need some visual evidence? Of course you do. Click to see bigger images.

Rockstar image #1. Those glasses? She doesn’t need them. They are “for fashion”

Rockstar image #2.

And, finally, a close up of the curls. Her hair is way longer in the back.

I don’t have any pictures of the princess look. I cleaned out my computer recently, and she has been all about the rockstar look lately.

So, there you have it. High maintenance much?

I just walked Thing 1 to the bus stop.  It is freezing out there. Beyond freezing in fact. As in, so cold your skin actually hurts.

The bus is scheduled to arrive at 12:19, but it never does. It’s always early. And, if your kid isn’t on the bus, tough cookies. It leaves without them.  Same after school, if it comes early and the parents aren’t there, tough cookies again. Your Kindergartner is standing on the corner waiting. The bus and I? We have issues.

So, we left the house in time (well, early) and Thing 1 decided to race to the bus stop. Thus, getting us there at 12:10. I figured the bus was coming soon, I can handle 5 minutes, right? 12:15 came and went, which was OK since the bus isn’t due until 12:19.  But, see, then 12:19 came and went. And went, and went, and went. The bus finally made it’s appearance at 12:25.  That’s a lot of minutes in 32 degree weather with a wind chill of 23.  See, that’s not what bothered me, though.

What really bothered me is, none of the other kids stood on the bus stop today. They all waited in their cars (and they all live within a half block radius). And do you know, not a single one of the stupid vest wearing, soccer Mom, Stepford Wives meets Desperate Housewives Mothers even so much as offered for Thing 1 and I to come stay warm in their car.

Witches.

The creativity of kids always amazes me.  We all sat down to play Legos, and while the kids dived right in to the huge box of rainbow colored bricks, I sat there and stared at them.  They made no sense to me.  Just a jumble of colors and shapes.  I had no idea where to even begin.  So I did what any other super creative Mommy would have done.  I grabbed the instruction booklet.  I’ll show them!  I’ll have the coolest speedboat rocket ever, because I have a book to follow!

Not only was my speedboat rocket the least creative, but it took the longest to build because I had to search for the exact piece I needed.

Check out our finished products

This is Thing 2′s creation.  It’s a “cool machine” that drives through town and sucks up all the trash. There’s actually a Lego with an arrow on it on the back that shows where the trash gets sucked in.  Then it all stays trapped up inside that yellow piece on the top.  There’s rockets on the bottom, so it can fly if it needs to.

This one was a joint effort.  Made by Thing 1 and The Squatch.  It is some kind of magical mystery cookie machine.  That’s what Thing 1 always makes.  They always look very different, but they always make cookies.

Hold on to your seats..you are about to see the product of my hard work.

Someday, I will make an amazing Lego creation using only my imagination.  Today is not that day.

I try to answer all of the “why’s” Thing 1 and Thing 2 throw at me with a (semi) well thought out answer.  I mean, how else will they learn, right?  But some of those questions are just too darn hard for me to come up with a reason.  Or sometimes, on that one rare occasion that I am trying to beat the high score in Bejeweled Blitz,  I might just say “because”.  What? You don’t play Bejeweled until your eyes bug out of your head?  Lies.

Thing 2 does not accept “because” as an answer.  He called me out on that one.   After seemingly endless hours, or maybe it was minutes, I’m not sure, I broke and said it. Because.  And boy, was he mad.  He stomped his foot and said “Mommy! You can NOT say that.  You HAVE to add something on to the end of it!!”  To which I busted out with my own “why?”  It was kind of fun to turn it around on him like that.  He had an actual answer, though.  “Because, I can’t ask you any more questions if you just say because.”

That answer is precisely the reason I will use “because” as my response to “why” much more often.