Life in our Shoes

Buying a house is no fun at all. Sure it started out fun, looking at open houses and imagining ourselves living there, or not depending on the house. We giggled at some decorating ideas people had, and likewise got some of our own. We saw a LOT of houses. A. Lot. We only liked two. Two!?!

OK, so we are a little picky. There needed to be a room that could be the kids playroom, and an office, and 4 bedrooms. That’s a good amount of rooms. Also, it had to have a good size backyard. Preferably fenced in, but not a deal breaker. A pool wasn’t exactly a must, but we wanted one, but not inground because I am way too paranoid about my clumsy children (I’m looking at you Thing 2). Oh, yeah, no basement. I don’t like basements. They feel like dungeons and we don’t use the one we have now. Then there is that other minor detail of it needing to be in our price range.

We made an offer on a house, which wasn’t accepted because the seller needed full asking price, due to some of his own financial issues. He also at one point said “I don’t care if the house forecloses, I’m not going to short sale” So we made the same offer on another house. Basically, the same house on a different street, minus a few of the upgrades. They were asking for way more than the first house, though. They weren’t willing to come down any and we weren’t willing to go up.

That left us back to the first house. Were we willing to pay full asking price? Well, the answer to that is, yes. We were. We love the house. It’s perfect for us. And besides, I have already decorated it in my brain. We managed to make a deal, sign the papers, and secure the house we want. Smooth sailing until settlement, right? Wrong.

The house passed inspection, with only a little glitch that the seller is willing to repair. Not such great news with the appraisal, though. It appraised for 9,000 under asking price. So, either the seller or us has to come to settlement with more money. We aren’t willing to do that, and given his financial situation (or what I know of it) he can’t do it. Which means the only way he can sell it is a short sale. I know in my brain that means good news for us, because we can get the house for cheaper. But, I am hardcore stressing about it. What if he refuses to do short sale and stupidly waits for someone that will pay the extra money? He would be a fool to do that, but you just never know.

So, now for the next 6 weeks or so, I sit here with baited breath, waiting to hear if the bank will accept the short sale. Or..I could walk away. But, I won’t. Because I already live there in my head.

It took me a while to come up with a good descriptor word for Thing 2. But, after much thought, I decided on impulsive. He rarely thinks before he acts. I don’t think he intentionally misbehaves, but it happens. More often than it should. Often to a point where I just have no idea what to do about it. I could really use some new strategies, because everything I have tried simply does not work.

The most recent example of his behavior was yesterday. We were about 3 minutes from walking out the door to karate. Thing 1 decided she was thirsty, so I told her to grab a juice box for the car. Thing 2 has to have everything she has, so he went to get one as well. She got there first, so he just launched out and bit her. BIT HER. He never bit before. Never. It was as if no thought was even involved. He just did it. She bruised instantly and had teeth marks. In all of his four years, he never bit. But, yesterday he did. I was floored. I sent him to his room immediately and went to karate without him. The Squatch stayed behind to talk to him about his behavior. He knew it was wrong. He knows biting hurts. If you ask him how he could have handled the situation better, he can tell you that. Which is why I am fairly certain he acts out of impulse.

Something as simple as dropping a fork on the floor at dinner can send him into complete hysterics. Rather than asking for a new fork, or getting down and picking it up, he will slam his fists down and scream. Then cry about it. Once I get him to calm down and think of what he should do instead, he will get down from the chair, put the fork in the sink and get a new one.

If Thing 1 happens to be in his way to see something (book, TV, etc) he will just hit her. Or throw something. He often can’t walk past a toy without kicking it over just because. I find myself asking multiple times a day “Why on Earth did you do that?” Though, I am always met with the same response. “I don’t know”

He has even gone as far as to hit me when I tell him it is time to go to bed, or clean, or some other thing he doesn’t want to do at that particular moment. Talking to him doesn’t work. Time outs don’t work. Taking things away doesn’t work. Rewarding good behavior doesn’t work.

I am at a complete and total loss as to what to do. Send Super Nanny my way please.

We have had a whirlwind of a week. Stress hit me like a ton of bricks. From fertility doctors to making offers on houses to karate tournaments. I’m sure the first two things will be worth the stress in the end, whenever that may come, but for now I *know* the stress of tournaments was worth it.

I took a chance and entered Thing 1 and Thing 2 in the Amerikick Internationals at the Convention Center. I knew it was huge for a first tournament, but they had missed the local ones and begged to do it. I was assured they would only compete against their belt level, and that everyone gets a medal no matter what.

Color me surprised when Thing 2 ( a white belt) competed against a yellow belt. Obviously, the yellow belt won, but since there was only two of them, he got second place. Second place winners take home a sweet trophy (pictured below). He did very well, considering this was his first time in front of an audience and he was up first. He started to cry in the beginning, but miracle of all miracles, he took a few deep breaths, pulled himself together, looked the judges right in the eyes and completed his kata.

Thing 1 was in the next age bracket, so (thankfully) they didn’t compete against each other. She also had to compete against a yellow belt and three orange belts. That was just not even fair. Of course their katas were more intricate, they have been doing karate much longer. But I digress. She did amazing anyhow. She won 4th place, which brought immediate tears to her eyes. We had a little talk about good sportsmanship and the fact that she had to compete against kids that were at a much higher level. In the end, she was proud that she beat one of the orange belts and earned herself a “trophy that can be worn like an accessory” aka-a medal.

Day two of the competition we had to be up at 6AM to make it there on time. Thing 1 instructed us to come in her room and wake her up by saying “Cock a Doodle Doo” We did. She’s like the puppetmaster. Knowing what to expect, I was slightly less stressed than the previous day. I’m sure I was more nervous than the kids were. Turns out it was much more organized than the previous day. White belts only competed against white belts. Well, except for the 4 year olds. Thing 2 competed against a white/yellow belt and a white/blue belt. He came in third and scored himself yet another trophy. But, Thing 1? She rocked it! She won first place. All the tears of the day before were long forgotten when they announced her name. And, the look in her eyes when she saw the size of her trophy? Priceless.

It’s that time of year again. Colds, coughs, runny noses, and tons of tissues. Both kids have been hit with it and it’s starting in on me.

I generally do everything I can to avoid giving medicine. Especially during the day. We fend off the evil coughs with warm tea and other such things. But, at night when the hacking keeps up the whole house, I’m all for medicine.

Unfortunately, Thing 1 is not a huge fan. She will take it, but not without a huge production. First and foremost, it MUST be bubble gum flavor. Anything else and she will gag to the point of nearly vomiting. So, we indulge in buying the bubble gum flavor. Easy enough, right? Not really. Read on.

In order for the medicine to even reach her lips, we need to count backwards from seven, then pour it in superduperquick. She then washes it down with milk and cracker, more specifically a saltine. That gets the flavor out of her mouth. But, wait…there’s more! She can still taste it on her lips. So, we need to wash her face and apply lip balm.

Why do I indulge in this? To save my sanity. Otherwise we get tons of tears and gagging. Mary Poppins knew what she was doing. The sugar sounds way easier.

So, what ridiculous rituals do you find yourself doing for the sake of your sanity?

I finally did it. I made the decision to change my last name to my new married name. Yeah, I’ve been married since September, but this is a decision I have been struggling with.

Under normal circumstances, changing my last name wouldn’t be a problem. But, throw kids into the mix and it became a real issue for me. I felt that I was abandoning them, in a way, if I took a new last name, thus giving me a different one than they have. I have never had a decision weigh so heavily on me. I know it seems silly, but to me it felt huge.

On one hand, I wanted to change my name to erase yet another connection to my ex. But, I am still connected. I always will be. We have kids together and that won’t change. On the other hand, what if The Squatch and I have kids, then that child would have a different last name as me anyhow. So, it was a no win situation as far as having my kids have my same last name. My solution was to hyphenate the names. But, darnit, that was such a process. It didn’t fit properly on forms that had little boxes, and besides, it was just a mouthful.

Another problem we ran into was people that only knew me, such as the senseis at karate and teachers, would refer to The Squatch as “Mr oldlastname”. That just didn’t fly.

So, yesterday, as we were filling out the paperwork to make an offer on a house (what?!?) I made the decision. I needed to know right then and there which last name I would want my house under. So, I made a new start a signed my new last name. My hand froze a couple times, since it doesn’t come naturally to write it, but by the end of the paperwork, I had signed it so many times that it felt right.

I need to get everything else changed now (passports, driver’s license, credit cards), but it feels good. Maybe I will even do it soon. Last time I got married, I didn’t change most of my stuff until I was almost divorced nine years later. Credit cards still had my maiden name, as did my social security card. Talk about procrastinating.

I’ve finally come to the realization that I will always be connected to the kids, no matter what my name is. And The Squatch is pretty happy about it, too.

Let me preface this post by saying my breath stinks and my butt hurts. Now, that we have the important stuff out the way, let’s get to the rest.

We went to the Celtic Woman concert tonight. What better night to go than on St Patrick’s Day Eve?

It was a two hour drive to Hershey, PA, where all the streets were named some variation of Chocolate Drive. I could never live there, because I would totally crave chocolate every day. In fact, I want some now, but I ate like crap tonight and I shouldn’t top it off with chocolate. But, mmmmm…. OK, I’m getting off track.

The concert…
The first time I heard Celtic Woman was last year, in the Poconos. We were surfing the channels and stopped on PBS. They blew me away immediately and I casually mentioned I would love to see them live. The Squatch, being the amazing husband he is, remembered this and secured us tickets in amazing seats. Amazing is referring to the proximity to the stage. The actual seats were anything but amazing. They were hard and uncomfortable and I would have rather (almost) been sitting on the sticky stadium floor. Thankfully, there was a twenty minute intermission in which I could fight the crowds and stretch my butt. Just, ow.

What’s a concert without unhealthy, greasy food that you wouldn’t eat otherwise? It’s nothing, I tell you, nothing. We indulged in garlic fries and sodas at intermission. I don’t regret a single second of it. I do, however, feel bad for those sitting around us. (If you are reading this, sorry about that) These garlic fries were more garlic than fries. I’m not talking about garlic powder, either. I’m talking about big chunks of garlic. Everywhere. I love me some garlic. Again, I apologize to those around me. My breath? It’s awful. There isn’t enough toothpaste in the tube to fix this.

If I haven’t mentioned it yet, the music was outstanding. There are two highlights that stand out in my mind. First, Amazing Grace, with bagpipes. I love bagpipes and I love Amazing Grace. Together, if it’s done properly, I get chills. I got them. Second highlight, You Raise Me Up. I was unsure how I would feel about it, since I am partial to Josh Groban. But, yeah, they rocked it. Oh, three highlights. The fiddler. She reminded me of a hummingbird. She was flitting all over the stage. And she was tiny. And how on Earth does someone jump down three steps, in heels, while playing the fiddle, then spin in circles over and over (again, while playing the fiddle)?

Dear Insane Motorcycle Driver,

I understand that the weather is now beautiful and you probably haven’t taken your motorcycle out much lately. I get it. Horrid snow, lots of ice, all the fun wintery stuff. I’m sure it feels fantastic to be out on your bike again zipping through the streets. However, the warm weather does not give you free reign of the roads.

Zipping down a busy street at a break neck speed, while your girlfriend holds on for dear life is just not safe. In fact, you damn near crashed into our car. That is just signing your own death certificate. We drive a tank. A big, huge, black tank, so I’m not sure how you didn’t see us there. You were almost plastered to the ground. Your helmet? It wouldn’t have helped.

Next time the sun is shining and the weather is warm, which it will be, tomorrow…please ride safer. I’d rather not have to scrape you off the side of my vehicle.

No love,
Me

I’m not usually one to run out and buy (or order as the case may be) the latest hair or skin product based on the claims that your hair will be smoother! shinier! and your skin will be softer! less lines! I find those claims are generally a whole load of crap. All you really end up doing is spending a boatload of money on something that achieves the same exact result as your generic drugstore variety. This time, though…I let myself be talked into the hype. But, just this once.

I researched and researched the new hair products WEN. I read reviews forward and backward until I couldn’t read anymore. Then I bought it. I chose the Sweet Almond Mint to try, because it sounded good to me. Although, I do generally judge based on appearance and the fig did have a prettier bottle. Perhaps I will try that one next.

When the box arrived, I promptly did what I always do (yes, even in stores). I twisted off the cap and smelled it. It didn’t blow me away. In fact, it smelled kind of like toothpaste. I was iffy about trying it, but I was still excited to see the results anyhow. Since we were in the car, and I wasn’t driving, I had some time to leisure peruse the brochure and instruction booklet that came in the box. I found it odd, since it was filled with half naked people and very detailed instructions on how to use it. I mean, it is, after all shampoo. Right? We all know how to use it. OK, it isn’t actually “shampoo”. The correct term, I believe is “cleansing conditioner”. Whatever, I wash my hair with it.

Since it was my first time using it, I followed the directions exactly by the book. That involved roughly 40 pumps of the stuff. 40!! Do you know how quickly a bottle of that stuff will disappear at 40 pumps a use? I’ll tell you. Very. I later modified it 24 pumps achieving the same result as 40.

My first impression was not a good one. While using it, the toothpaste smell went away. It was replaced by Ben-Gay. And, that, is definitely worse than toothpaste. I waited the required 5 minutes with it soaking in my hair and rinsed it out. Let me just tell you, I could feel the difference. Immediately. It was like silk. Lovely, lovely silk. My hair never feels like silk. It usually feels kind of knotty and hard to comb through after a shower. Not this time.

After rinsing I added in the WEN styling creme (only 2 pumps so it will last much longer), then I walked away. I didn’t blow dry my hair since I never do. I just let it air dry. I have straight hair, but it frizzes quite a bit when I don’t blow dry it. And even when I do, I have to put a bunch of hair product on it to get the frizzies to go away. I have to say I must have checked the mirror 50 times while waiting for it to dry. And I kept touching it. It was so soft. If my hair looked as good as it felt, I was hooked. And do you know what? It did. It looked like I had blow dried it to perfection. There were no frizzies, it was soft, and the smell? It was actually slightly sweet with only a touch of the mint.

I’m in love. With my shampoo. *ahem* I mean cleansing conditioner. It’s not cheap, but I will be buying it again. And again. And probably again.

WEN Sweet Almond Mint Cleansing Conditioner – 16 oz

Two words come to mind when I think of Thing 1. Well more than two, really. But the two that really stand out are high maintenance. This child is destined to be a Diva.

First of all, her calendar is busier than mine. I’m really just her chauffeur doubling as her Mom. It’s all really just a way of protecting her super secret identity for when she is famous. Let me give you a glimpse into our weekly schedule.  Obviously, there is school every day, though I don’t doubt she will someday want a private tutor just so she can add some more extra curricular activities into her already busy week.  Monday we have karate, Tuesday we have Girl Scouts, Wednesday we have Acro HipHop, Thursday we have karate again (now that she is entered into a tournament we have a private lesson on Thursday on top of her class), Friday we have Irish dance. Those are just her regularly scheduled classes. On the weekends we toss in the occasional tournament, dance show, charity show, parade, or Girl Scout event. To me, that is utter chaos. To her, it isn’t enough. She wants to take figure skating as well. If only there were more days in the week and more money in my bank, I would let her.

Second, she has two very distinct looks each day. She either wants to look like a princess or a rockstar. Both looks require her hair to be down! and curly! Now, she has the most beautiful curls you could ever imagine. But, her hair is long. Down to her butt long (when it’s wet). And there’s a lot of it. So, in order to achieve that perfect down and curly look each day, we need to set aside 40 minutes to do her hair. 40 minutes!!  What am I going to do next year when she needs to be in school before 12:15? She is not an early riser. Of course she isn’t. Divas don’t get up before 10AM.  If they do, they say silly things like “my eyes just aren’t ready” or “come back in 15 minutes”.

Third, in true Diva form, she must always be right. At all costs.  If she is ever wrong, she will tell you that she knew that, but just wanted to do it her own way.  That’s how Diva’s roll.

And last but not least, she is a master manipulator. Especially in regards to Thing 2. For example, if she is playing her computer (yes, she has her own pink laptop, so I may be the one feeding into her Divaness a bit) she will ask Thing 2 if he wants to play the game she is playing. Naturally he says yes. But then, of all silly things, he expects her to let him play. But, no. She follows up with “Good. Go ask Mommy for her computer”  Thing 2 then comes to me and mission accomplished. She no longer has him hanging around her.

Need some visual evidence? Of course you do. Click to see bigger images.

Rockstar image #1. Those glasses? She doesn’t need them. They are “for fashion”

Rockstar image #2.

And, finally, a close up of the curls. Her hair is way longer in the back.

I don’t have any pictures of the princess look. I cleaned out my computer recently, and she has been all about the rockstar look lately.

So, there you have it. High maintenance much?

I’d like to say I have a fantastic reason for not doing my weekly weigh in post last week, but the truth is I don’t. I simply forgot.  I did weigh in, though so I will put it in this week’s post.

Let me start by saying I did not deserve any kind of weight loss at all.  I ate horrible and missed most of my workouts. The only thing I did do right was drink a boatload of water. I expected to step on the scale and see an increase in the numbers. What I saw, instead was that I had lost weight.  My new number? 166.2.  That was last Saturday.  I was pleased, although I could have done better. I vowed that this week would be better.  How could it not be? I had seven workout classes scheduled. Three zumba classes, three boot camp classes, and a two hour  belly dance workshop.

I started out my week on the wrong foot.  Thing 2 woke up in at 4AM, and I couldn’t get back to sleep after that. There was no was I was dragging my overly exhausted self out in the cold to get to Boot Camp Monday morning. Oh well, still six more classes left.  But see, Tuesday came and I really wanted to go to MOMS night out.  So, I did.  BUT, I did pass on the popcorn at the movies. That? Is huge. I never pass on popcorn. OK,OK I only passed because I knew we were going to Ruby Tuesday’s afterward.  Failed day #2. Wednesday I made it to both my classes.  I felt so great about it, which totally motivated me to go to all my other classes.  But, then…the snow came.  And they were all cancelled.

Now, I do realize snow doesn’t prevent me from working out at home, but for some reason I just can’t do it. I need to have a scheduled time that I need to be somewhere that I am paying for. Otherwise, it is way too easy for me to just say “I will do it later”. Because honestly, later never comes. So, no, I did not workout.  And I almost didn’t weigh myself this morning.  I only did because I figured the weight gain will give me a good kick in the butt and a reminder to do better.

I stepped on the scale and actually closed my eyes. I wasn’t really prepared for whatever number I would see.  *blink* I had to step off and back on. And again. I am now weighing in at 164.0.  Just imagine if I had gone to all seven of my classes!

Next week is a new week…but I did eat fantastic today!